“I may not remember what we talk about….but I always remember how you make me feel.”

Here is a lesson I have learned for the adult children of parents with memory issues. It’s how your Mom or Dad feels that really matters to them.

Look, memory issues are now an established part of adult life. Memory issues that were once rare, are now common. And they bring adult children sadness and worry.
Why? Because we all remember the time we told Mom or Dad “I will always take care of you.” And now maybe that job has grown too large to do properly. Diet, medication, bathing, proper exercise, movement, and wandering can all become too much for one person to handle.

And yes, this causes guilt, because of the promise we made Mom or Dad years ago.

But here is the thing. Memory issues can quickly outstrip your ability to give Mom or Dad the care they need. And postponing professional care can actually cause more harm.

But your Mom or Dad will always remember how you make them feel. Which is the magical thing that I see happening here at The Willows. Mom or Dad are left feeling wonderful after your visit.

And that guilt you feel? It goes away, because you can see that care is professionally given 24/7, in a nurturing and engaging environment, specially designed for seniors with memory issues, and Mom or Dad are thriving.

On top of that, you can visit Mom or Dad as often as you like. And the love they feel from you during those visits…that is what stays with them. I see it all the time.

One of the most important parts of my job is this comfort I get to bring to families. I’m here to help, call me anytime at 641-485-1672.

But fortunately there is a cure.

I am talking about loneliness.

And as we all know, 2020 dished up loneliness in huge portions.

Lately this is the main thing I hear when adult children call me with concern for Mom or Dad.

Loneliness.

And we’re not talking about the kind of loneliness from a weekend or so by yourself. If it goes on long enough loneliness becomes dangerously invisible. And things slip. Diet slips, cleanliness slips, exercise slips…if you can imagine it, it slips when you are lonely.

Yet, here is the thing about loneliness – none of us ever want to admit it. As if it were some sort of character flaw, instead of the universal call for help that loneliness really is.

So when an adult child asks Mom or Dad “How are you doing?” the answer is always “I’m fine.”

Everyone wants to appear strong to their kids, that’s why it’s so important to know when it’s time for you to be strong for your parents. They held your hand through the skinned knees and bruised hopes of childhood. It’s your turn to hold their hand through this new and uncharted territory.

Maybe that means more visits from you, more phone calls from you, more transportation to events or friends they want (need) to see.

Or maybe it is time to consider Assisted Living, where Mom and Dad are as independent as they want to be in their wonderful apartment, only without the loneliness, because friends are always right next door, at meals, at our theatre, exercise class or even the always loved bingo. And you have the safety net of a devoted healthcare staff at hand 24/7 with all their meals and transportation taken care of.

I know, this is personal stuff. Everyone is different. Every Mom, every Dad is different. Let me hold your hand through this process. I’m here to help. My cell 485-1672. Call anytime.